Here's the game. Someone types a sentence, like,

"Bob went shopping for a ukelele."

Each subsequent person continues the story, one sentence at a time.

So let's begin.

"Bob went shopping for a ukelele."

So he went to Wal-Mart to look for one.

He looked through their selection of First Act instruments, but was not impressed.

So he booked a flight to Hawai'i to find an authentic one.

When he landed he was immediately arrested by Dog the Bounty Hunter.

On his way out of the Hawaiian Walmart, he ran into Don Ho.

He exclaimed "Don Ho working with Dog the Bounty Hunter and I never saw it coming!"

Which was weird because Don Ho is dead.

Luckily, Bob had heard about the recent zombie outbreak in Hawaii, and was prepared.

Unfortunately, Dog made his "arrest" without a bench warrant as Bob had committed no crime, so the big Kanaka boys of the Honolulu Police Dept. gave Dog the Kanaka beatdown before throwing him in the back of their HPD 1969 Chevelle SS 396 with a Hurst 4-speed, a Tunnel Ram and two Holley Four-barrels and hauled him off to the calaboose leaving Bob, unharmed, with the hookers and trannies on Hotel St.

(When I was in Hawaii in the 70's, HPD officers had subsidies to build their own cars so I saw that very car painted up in HPD colors. The rep was that the fastest cars on Oahu were HPD cars.)

He pulled out the machete he had bought at the WalMart there at the airport and lopped of Do Ho zombie's head which became lodged in Beth Chapman's formidable cleavage.

And lived happily ever after 'til the end of his days.

Or, he would have, had this whole incident not been a horrible dream.

If there was an award for best run on sentence........definitely a blue ribbon!

And I am the goddess of run on sentences!

So while Beth was trying to dislodge the offending head in her canyon of boobs, Bob ran off swinging the machete wildly, winding up in his second arrest of the day.

Soon realizing none of this was a dream, but rather all of his previous life had been the dream.

As Bob was thrown, whimpering into the back of the Chevelle by the aforementioned Kanakas, he was overheard to say,

"I Blame Society."

this story has careened off of a very odd cliff. Reboot:

Bob woke up from whatever it was that had just not happened, and realized he still needed a ukelele.

You do realize with this group rebooting won't help, right?

He thought to himself, "It's deja vu all over again."

He tossed off the bedcovers, dumping the zombie bloodied knife onto the floor and stumbled to the shower humming "Tiny Bubbles".

That's when he went to a head shop to get a new bong and then went home, got high, and decided to give Target a try.

While toweling off, he checked his e-mails and found one inviting him to a Hookilau with plenty of Kulihau, but no Minahunes.

Being high and feeling better after his second shower this letter almost made sense to him except he didn't know where such a thing was likely to take place here in Fresno.

So he ordered a pizza because he had the muchies.

The letter was mysterious and didn't have an address, but there was a picture of a ukelele on it, so Bob decided to try to track down this mystery party.

He decided to call his friend Don in Hawaii.

When Don answered Bob asked him about the email, and Don didn't know anything about it.

Infact he didn't know much about anything except to complain about weather, moaning "The RAAAIIIINSS!"or something like that.

Don Replyed What's a ukelele Or Do You Maen Ukulele I Hope

Then Bob's drug addled brain put 2 and 2 together, totalling 7 which told him the ukelele was needed for the party in the letter where his band was supposed to play a polka or something.

So he went on the internets to Goggle, er Google, ukelele, and see what he could learn about them.

Unfortunately, he misspelled "Ukulele".

Pfffft.

Even though Bob can't spell, much like America can't count, he still wound up with over a billion hits, and I was absolutely stunned at the topics available on my tiny little screen.

And that's when Bob realized he was actually a girl named Rita with a very tiny screen.

Bob sat.

He sat on a mat, with a cat.

The cat was very fat.

When he realized he was a girl named Rita, she spat!

The cat wanted lasagna and what he was smoking.

Rita was a meter maid.

Rita smoked.

Rita remembered that she had catnip available, so she got the cat high on catnip.

MMMMM...CATNIP

Just then, a ukulele came crashing through Rita's front window.

Now Rita had a real dilemma, she didn't know how to play it, but luckily the window didn't hurt anyone, although it was raining outside.

And to top it off, the damned ukulele was warped and the broken glass had severed many strings.

Rita thought to herself, "Gee, I wake up and suddenly I'm someone else, and then something incomprehensible happens to me out of nowhere - what is this, a David Lynch movie?"

Just then Rita found herself having a muscle spasm in the arch of her right foot which caused her to start jumping and pounding her foot around the room in agony!