One might presume the senator was treated to a Chipotle burrito after his ride

I only hope that when I get that old I would have a mere fraction of Kerry's condition, and life would be good!
I met someone like that three decades ago -- while riding up a major hill climb on the first Davis Double Century I attempted, I was passed up by a man who then was either 70 or 72 and known to one and all as "Foxy Grandpa." I managed to keep up with him until the summit where with a wave of his hand and hearty greetings he passed up the ride's rest stop, where he probably descended like a fast sonofabitch, though I would never know that because I needed the rest stop! If I remember right, he finished the 200 miles in approx. 12-14 hours, while I crapped out with 16 miles to go at 3 am the next morning.