Both Cindy McCain and Steve Douchey claimed that dubious VP running mate sarah Palin of Alaska would be a great foreign policy contributor when it comes to Russia because she lives near Russia.

So what country does that make YOU an expert in?

I'm now an expert of the land my mother came from: Cuba.

I've been to Canada, I'm an expert. My grandmother came from Sicily and I'm 3rd generation expert. I've even been to Alaska, so I've got foreign policy experience just like the Beauty Queen.

lol

I've been in Canada, so count me an expert there, too. And...ALL my ancestors are from Portugal, my parents are 1st generation, makes me a full-blooded 2nd generation, and... I've even LIVED there. What is the rank above expert?

AND...I was born in Alaska, so I guess I can handle Putin fairly easily myself.

Damn.

Why aren't I the president?

I was born in Brownsville, so I'm an expert on Mexico. I've been there twice, but only was sober for the majority of one of my visits.

I've been to Delawhere... does that make me an expert by Biden osmosis?

I lived in Germany near the French border. I guess I'm a real political heavy hitter now. I'd better get ready for that 3am call to be Secretary of State.

I've visited 16 nations (granted, some no further than the airbase). I've had extended stays in six and taken up residence in four.

I speak two languages fluently and four partially.

I am in no wise an "expert" on foreign policy. Nor is anyone with any less experience.

I lived in Germany.

Therefore, by their logic, I am at least a foreign policy expert about Denmark, Poland, the former Czechoslovakia, Switzerland, France, Holland, Austria, and Luxembourg, because they border Germany.

And since I've also traveled to England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Norway, Sweden, Liechtenstein, Monaco, Spain, Italy, Finland, Iceland, Belgium, Vatican City, and Greece (in addition to all the countries previously listed), I must ALSO be an expert in Russia, Turkey, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Lebanon, Hungary, Macedonia, Malta, Portugal, Albania, Israel, Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, Algeria, Corsica, Sicily, Morocco, Nova Scotia, and Greenland, as they either border the countries I've visited, or are nearby across small bodies of water.

And having lived in both Washington State, New York, and California, clearly, I also am and expert on Mexico, and those pesky Canucks.

Plus, I was born in the heartland of the U.S. the Repukes can't seem to get enough of using for political gain, and my momma's from the South. I pretty much got all the bases covered (including the Arctic Circle, my friends), and my family's been everywhere else, so they can serve as my advisers. And I have degrees in Political Science and History.

So fuck Sarah Palin. Elect ME. I clearly have more foreign policy experience than she does. And I have "executive experience" as I ran my own business for longer than she's been either a governor or a mayor COMBINED.

Man, they are IDIOTS....

Similarly, I'm qualified to interfere in the domestic affairs of Mexico, Canada, Japan, the Philippines, Vietnam and Thailand.

Ooo! Experience in "the Asia", Ike!

Compared to Sarah Palin, I'm a foreign policy GOD.

I lived in Mexico City when I was a baby, so that makes me an expert on immigration and Latin American trade issues.

I lived in France when I was a teenager, so that makes me an expert on Europe, and since Europe is next to Asia and north of Africa, that also makes me an expert on Asia and Africa.

Incidentally, I do have a BA in International Studies, so maybe I should offer the good Governor a refresher course.

Earth is next to Mars and Venus ... oh, and the moon, don't forget the moon.

We come in peace ugly green sacks of mostly frozen water.

Please note that Stephen Colbert supplemented that claim, noting Alaska's Mt. McKinley is the tallest peak in North America. Thus, due to it being closer to space than anywhere else in the US, Palin is also the premier expert on space.

I am a forgien policy expert on Canada which is close to PA and Lake Erie.

Pshaw you Canadian "experts", you need a body of water separating you to be an expert on Canada.

I am from Detroit and can see Canada from my backyard.

BOW TO ME.

The Canadian rep in Detroit used to joke that he had the only consulate that allowed him to look south to Canada.

My opinion: Layefette, not American.